Two Chairs

The two rocking chairs were positioned side by side with a slight tilt toward each other in between the living and dining room at the Baptist Rabbi's home. Those two rocking chairs have been a part of our house for as long as I can remember. They are used when company comes to the house and conversations occur in the formal living room - away from the TV and other distractions. As my daughter, Mallory, entered the house on a rainy day, Dad escorted her into the living room and shut the french doors isolating them from the constant hustle around the Dean household. He wanted her all to himself. There was something to be said. An hour and a half later, Mallory came to meet me - tearful, overwhelmed, and blessed. The final "Goodbye" conversation occurred between Popman and his Mallory.

About a month ago, Dad had a rather significant heart attack that left his heart damaged with no possibility of further interventions. While laying in the ER, he claims he had a unique experience where his life flashed before him and he realized he had not said all that he wanted to say to the people he loved. Thus, the conversation with Mallory was arranged.

I was not privy to that conversation, nor should I have been. I will not ask specifics of what occurred because that is sacred between them. Mallory was given a special gift as her grandfather gave her his undivided attention expressing advice, feelings, and experiences. He was saying what he felt needed to be said.

Initially, I was overcome with sadness and grief, for no child wants to face the reality that their parents' time on Earth is coming to a close. Dealing with a damaged heart, Parkinsons, feeding tube, and permanent damage from Shingles, he certainly has his battle cut out for him. Talking has become a struggle for him, and I know he is growing weary. However, as I have reflected upon the significance of this conversation, I am now overwhelmed with gratitude and gratefulness. What a gift to be given a time of isolation with the Baptist Rabbi where he expressed his feelings and imparted life wisdom to my daughter. Many are not awarded this time to make peace and express unspoken feelings before their final rest.

I can only imagine some of the things that were said. At some point during the conversation, I bet he told her to love big, celebrate her uniqueness, fight hard, be kind, and don't get discouraged when life is not fair (although he would have said it in a much more profound, philosophical way!). I'm sure the words "I love you" were spoken. There is no doubt that she felt loved during this heartfelt time. I know that this will be a conversation that will shape her for a lifetime. Meanwhile, my humble Dad has no idea the impact that this conversation will have on her or the impact he has had on so many through his ministry and friendships.

Drew is next, followed by Chris's children. We may have one week or several years with what I consider to be the greatest man on Earth. God only knows. However, I am so thankful for many things:

• For him showing us the power of genuine conversations and unconditional love
• For him not being afraid to face tough emotions and hard words
• For him being vulnerable enough to share his innermost feelings while he is still able to speak
• For the 2 chairs that were used as the foundation to impart words that will shape the lives of my children during these uncertain times.

None of us know what tomorrow holds. However, I am witnessing my sweet father take advantage of every breath he has left on this Earth to continue to make positive impacts on people through his experiences, philosophies, and beliefs.  We all continue to learn from our Baptist Rabbi. May we all embrace the time that we have and use it for good. As for me, in the upcoming days when life may get hard, I will find solace in the 2 chairs......