Perfect Timing of Love

Goodness knows there is enough going on in this world to make our blood pressure rise! During all the stresses of life, we all have our own internal battles that we are fighting, which ultimately sculpt our words and action to others.

I have carefully watched my Dad for many years now as he navigates life. It is simply amazing to witness. The timing of his actions exhibit self control and love. Don't mistaken this for weakness, for he is one of the most powerful humans I have ever met. He has a solid understanding of his beliefs and foundations. There have been times that he has spoken passionately about issues and has fought hard for what he feels is right and ethical. However, he also has a deep understanding of the uncertainty of life and how love should always prevail.

The Baptist Rabbi has lived through many life experiences with his family, friends, and church members. He has seen the unexpected twists and turns of life's journey and the aftermath of people living with both comfort and regret due to previous actions (not that he has ever shared personal experiences of others, as confidentiality is of utmost importance to him).

Being a normal family, there are times when things can get heated in the Dean/Johnson household! After all, we are humans! During these times, I see Dad sitting silently, exhibiting self-control, but taking in all the actions around him. Finally, when everyone is done with their "verbal vomit," he quietly will approach individuals and offer kind words of perspective - helping us see different viewpoints and offering love.

Over the years, he has offered these life lessons to me:

• Time takes care of most situations. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to get caught up in defending your territory or viewpoint, which leads to harsh words. Words can't be taken back.
• Practicing silence in some situations can assist in deescalation. Rarely does arguing and yelling change a person's viewpoint or situation. 
• It is more important to listen than to talk. Ultimately, people want to just be heard. Just because you don't fight back does not mean that your beliefs are on shaky ground.
• Understanding people's journeys help you understand their viewpoints and actions. Use this perspective to show love - not hate.
• Showing self-control does not show weakness; likewise, it shows strength and power. 
• There are times in life where you must fight hard for what is right and ethical. Pick your battles and then fight hard. Fighting with passion does not mean hurting others in the process. You can prove a point without tearing someone else down.

The Baptist Rabbi has modeled so much for all of us over the years. We often joke in our household that Sam Dean has become a man of few words. However, when the words are spoken, there is thoughtfulness, intelligence, and love. He uses his silence to choose his words carefully. Many times, he has said his goal is to use the time that he has left to show everyone how much they mean to him and how much they are loved. He refuses to let bridges be built because he knows his time is limited. 

In this world of tension, opinions, and stress, maybe we could all learn a bit from Sam. Life is short. We certainly all have a right to hold our beliefs and opinions. Life is going to bring situations of conflict and disagreements. However, none of us are promised tomorrow. We will not be remembered for the opinions that we held. We will most be remembered by the way we treated people and the love we portrayed. 

When is the timing of love important? I believe the Baptist Rabbi would say ALWAYS. What an awesome calling for us all. Goodness knows, I am a work in progress. May we all strive to advocate for what is right, but let love prevail in all situations.