Commitment is a virtue that was extremely important growing up in the Dean household. Once we started something - we were required to finish it. I remember taking a seasonal job at a local department store in downtown Knoxville while in college. I called him crying my first day on the job because a customer had accused me of not knowing what I was doing (which was a completely accurate assessment!). But nevertheless, it broke my heart. I called Dad expecting to get some sympathy, telling me to come on back to the safety of my own home. Instead, I got the tough love answer. His response sounded something like, "Grow up and get a backbone. Not everyone in the world will be kind. But you made a commitment to work with them, and you will stay until your agreement with them is complete." And then he hung up on me!
Linsdey Denton is a dear person to me. She endured eleven years with me trying her hardest to teach me how to play the piano. Often she would have to spend time talking to me about the length of my nails and how practice pays off. I'm sure she got tired of repeating the same lessons of life to me, but she always did it with patience and compassion. Of course, mastering the piano takes lots of dedication and practice. There were many times that my social life would seem much more interesting than sitting at the piano practicing for guilds and recitals. There were times that I would approach both of my parents and ask if I could quit. I bet you could guess what they had to say. I expressed a desire to learn how to play the piano, and I needed to stick with it. I needed to honor the commitment that I made. Twenty-five years later, I periodically will sit at the piano at my house and play a few hymns and other songs, wishing I had heeded to the advice of my parents and Lyndsay about commitment and dedication.
Mom and Dad have been true examples of commitment. Chris and I have been one of the lucky ones that have watched them model the true meaning of commitment through their marriage of 50 years. Through their journey, their commitment has looked different, depending on the circumstances. Mom supported Dad as he finished seminary. Mom chose to leave the family she loves in North Carolina to support his ministry, wherever God chose to take him. Dad supported Mom through a stressful career in education, where some years were good and some were not. Dad has supported Mom through various auto-immune conditions that required her to visit multiple hospitals (some out of town) and an ultimate destination to disability. Mom supported Dad through endless hours of ministry, often cutting a vacation short or disrupting a night's sleep to attend to other's needs. Mom and Dad supported each other in raising Chris and me - which always wasn't easy. But they did it together. We always saw them as one. They always kept a consistent message - one with an abundance of love, high expectations, and ethics.
The visual image of their commitment has changed somewhat over the years. They both find themselves dealing with multiple health issues today and spend most of their time at home. Mom has been plagued with a severe case of scoliosis and stenosis, making mobility a difficult task for her. Her arthritis makes it difficult for her to do fine motor activities. However, each day, she rises to the task of taking care of Dad's needs with a sacrificing love that his needs are more important than hers. Dad does the same in return for her. With her mobility, she has frequent falls. He is always there to help her get to a safe place and give her proper care until I can get to them, despite his constant level of pain due to PHN.
To be an active witness of their level of commitment to each other is simply breathtaking. It is not always easy. They are both human, so at times, the situational reality is challenging and overwhelming to them both. The requirements of commitment look very different for them today than in earlier years. The commitment has undergone a conversion. But the level of commitment remains the same- if not stronger.
Today, they both look different visually. In fact, Dad can no longer wear his wedding ring on his 4th finger due to his weight loss caused by Parkinson's and the feeding tube. Many men would discontinue wearing the ring, but not my Dad. The commitment is too meaningful. He made a commitment to God that they would support each other through all of life's circumstances. The ring is now proudly worn on his third finger. The conversion of the ring to a different finger did not change the dedication and commitment. It has only made it stronger as they continue to lean on each other during this stage of their life.
On Mother's Day weekend, I am thankful that I get to be a part of God teaching me about the true meaning of commitment through my Mom and Dad. Just as life's journey changes, the requirements of our commitments change. May we all embrace the challenges and joys that the conversion of our commitments bring. But by all means, may we remain committed! Happy Mother's Day to all!
**Side note to Lindsey Denton - As I type this blog, I hear my nails tapping! I will go cut them in honor of you for Mother's Day!!! Ha! Love you!
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