Would it surprise you to hear that the Baptist Rabbi and his wife are partiers? Indeed, it is true! The Dean household was always rocking with people. From church members to friends from near and far, there always seemed to be a Baptist style gathering occurring at the pastorium.
I recall going out to eat with a group of people for Sunday lunch. People would come over to the house on Sunday evenings. We met a wide variety of people at restaurants, the neighbor's pool, and at other people's homes. We hosted July 4 celebrations, Memorial Day celebrations, UT ballgame gatherings, Christmas Eve dinners, etc. If it was a special day, you could guarantee that we would be with people. Dad made it a priority to meet once a week with a pastor group where they would connect and refuel sharing stories and laughter. Dad always talked about the importance of these gatherings to his overall emotional health.
Mom and Dad modeled the concept of purposeful circle to me. Dad always has been a firm believer that you become much like who you choose to surround yourself. Mom and Dad knew that they could instill solid beliefs in me as parents, but my circle of friends were bound to have a much larger impact on the choices I made. Often, my parents would encourage me to surround myself with positive people who would lift me up and make me a better person. They encouraged me to purposefully seek out friends who would be a positive influence on me. And I will have to say that I did a better job on some occasions than others in heeding their advice. :)
As adults, it is important that we create our own purposeful circle. We ultimately take on traits of who we devote our time and attention. We all know those people that we are instantly drawn towards. These people are genuine, they care about us as an individual, and they are filled with positivity. They challenge us to become a better individual. We are lifted up after spending time with them. On the flip side, there are an abundance of negative individuals that we encounter daily. These are the ones who see the glass as always half empty, find something negative to say about everything, and take joy in other's struggles and failures. If the truth be known, we all can sway both ways, given the particular circumstance or day.
Mom and Dad took time to create a purposeful circle of community. They were well aware that a positive, purposeful circle is not always easy to find. Over the years, Dad was offered several other church placements. However, he never took the bite. Although he had many reasons for staying in Clinton, I can only imagine that one of the deciding factors was his purposeful circle. When it is found, it is a treasure.
We have great control over creating our purposeful circle. Surrounding ourselves with people who will support us in our personal and professional growth is essential in walking this journey of life. We won't be able to rid ourselves of negative people, but we don't have to devote our time and energy to them. After all, if we do, we will easily get sucked into their behaviors and not even realize that we have taken on their thoughts and traits.
Participating in the purposeful circle is two-fold. We certainly want to seek out relationships that are uplifting, positive, and supportive. Do we choose to engage in nurturing relationships? However, it is equally as important to strive to be a good circle member. Do we purposefully lift people up? Do we see our glass as half full? Do we refuse to give negativity control? Do we believe in personal growth?
If we don't purposefully choose our own circle and strive to be a good circle member, a circle will certainly come find us. However, we won't be guaranteed of its benefits. People never crumble in a day; its a slow fade. Many times, that fade starts with the circle in which we choose. Thanks be to God that we have been given free will to determine our own purposeful circle.
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