Dads and Doors

All around our nation this weekend, sons and daughters are taking time to celebrate their fathers. This weekend will bring a range of emotions from people - maybe happiness, maybe mourning, maybe longing. For our past experiences will certainly shape the activities of this weekend. Whether good or bad, we are products of our parenting. Their guidance during the first portion of our lives consciously and subconsciously shapes our adult life. 

Parents often talk to their children about making good choices and staying on the right path. While my parents certainly wanted me to stay on the right path, they realized their role in making this happen. They were the “door opener” of our family.  Mom and Dad always made it a point for Chris and me to have an abundance of experiences. From trips to extracurricular activities, we were always busy learning the variety of things that life has to offer. Reminiscing with Chris a few weeks ago, he told me of a conversation he had with Dad immediately after he graduated from UT. Dad told him that he was to accept the first job he could find, no matter where it was, and GO. I’m sure that Mom and Dad would have preferred for us all to stay together as a family in the Clinton area, but he opened a door for Chris to go where he could provide for his family. Still to this day, Mom and Dad encourage us both to enter uncomfortable areas to grow as an individual. They have always suppressed their agenda for us and created open doors for us to create our own path.

One of the most powerful beliefs that the Baptist Rabbi holds is the theory of doors. People fall into 2 categories: door openers and door closers. The individual success of people largely depends on others opening doors for them. We all have our own stories of people who have helped us succeed and people who have interfered with that process. Over the past 3 years, my family has grown very close to our pastor, Charla. She has ministered to our family in such a special way. As we learned that she had been given a new church assignment, we were devastated. As we left her last Sunday, my Dad and I both left with tears bubbling in our eyes. Then the powerful words came from Sam Dean, “As much as we love Charla, you are now charged to determine what kind of person you will be. Will you be a door opener or a door closer? Charla has been given new door. Will you help her open that door to continue her ministry? The new pastor coming in has just begun her ministry career. You have the ability to open the door for her, which could open further doors for her down the road. Or you have the ability to shut the door, impacting her ministry for the future. Which person do you want to be? Everyone needs someone to be the door opener. That is what God has called us to do.” 

Individuals are powerful human beings. We have much more control over people’s destiny than we realize. Even the smallest of actions can open large doors for individuals. This Father’s Day, I am thankful that my parents taught me the power of doors. I am thankful that they have always been a step ahead of me opening doors for me to grow as an individual. I am thankful that in times of me being selfish, they remind me that life is not all about me. God calls each of us to step away from our self-absorbtion and purposefully create open doors for others. God is on the other side of that door waiting to do great things for others if we will only accept the call to open the door for them.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for teaching me (and continually reminding me) to be a door opener for others. Happy Father’s Day!

A-1 Sauce and Alto

Isn’t it funny the small stories that you remember growing up? Sometimes Mom and Dad will tell stories of trips, visits, and events that I have no recollection; yet I remember random, small events that seem meaningless. Or are they? Some of the lessons I have learned come from those very events.

Growing up, we were very special friends with the Rumph family. Betty Rumph lost her husband at a very young age and raised 2 fabulous children, Jay and Julie, as a single mom. After church on Sunday, we would find ourselves with the Rumphs at a steakhouse in Oak Ridge. It was one of the highlights of my week. Every week, Jay would order the same meal - always accompanied with french fries. For those of you who know my Dad, he LOVES french fries. It was a weekly event for Dad to reach over and grab some of Jay’s french fries. It was not long before Dad was identified as “The French Fry Monster.” Typical children will reach for the ketchup to smother the fries, but not Jay. He liked to spice them up in a different way. When the french fries arrived, he would immediately ask for the A-1 Sauce. Looking back, I wonder if that was his way of trying to save his french fries from the “The French Fry Monster.” If so, I don’t recall it working. Dad found that combination fascinating! Dad was always impressed that he chose to eat his fries in a different way. Jay thought outside the box and spiced up an otherwise simple food. Somehow, the A-1/ French Fry Monster combination created a special bond between a Rabbi and a boy. As time moved forward, Jay and Dad became hiking buddies, and he still remains special to my Dad today.

For those of you who know us well, you know that Kristina Pearce Haury holds a very special place in the heart of my family. We were inseparable growing up.  Krista and I were dedicated members of the FBC youth choir and Clinton High School chorus. We loved to sing….and at the time, we thought we sounded fabulous! Krista always accompanied us on our annual Spring Break trip to the beach. On the 7 hour ride to the beach, we thought we would bless Mom and Dad with the gift of voice. We thought we would spare them the torture of listening to rock music on the radio. So, being the thoughtful teenagers we were, we decided to give them a free concert of our musical repertoire….all in ALTO. No melody, only the flatline, tedious, monotone of alto. While we thought we sounded angelical, I’m sure that we did not even do justice to alto. To this day, Dad remembers these trips as being torture.  Being the fabulous father that he is, he never said a word. He let us sing. He now describes that event as one of the most painful experiences of his travels!

Sam Dean has always been a proponent of enjoying the spice of life. For those of you who know him well, you can see why he loved the A-1 sauce, but found alto in isolation to be unbearable. Alto is an important piece to the overall musical production. However, by itself, it is horrific. It does not provide the same  enjoyment as when all the the musical parts are sung together. It takes the alto, soprano, tenor, and bass working together, each mastering their own craft, to make a beautiful musical performance. The same is true for life. We all have our own voices, talents, and interests. However, if we were all the same, what a boring place it would be! It is in our variety that we bring beautiful harmony to the world. Our individual differences are the A-1 sauce that provide flavor to churches, workplaces, and communities. The Baptist Rabbi has never demanded that people embrace his interests or beliefs. He has always encouraged each person to embrace the individual that God calls them to be. He has never been threatened that it will be different than him. For it is important that we all sing our own part, but be willing to do it along with others to create a beautiful harmony of community. Thank God for A-1 sauce and for the ability to move beyond alto and enjoy the magnificent harmony created when we come together as a community of faith, each singing our own part and embracing the differences in notes that are sung.