Fall is just around the corner. It is one of the best times of the year! Fall is a time where you will find my Dad doing the things that he enjoys the most: hiking and spending time outdoors. For many years, Dad would spend time with some of his closest friends on hiking trails, spending weekends at cabins in Roane Mountain, and having picnics in Cades Cove. He started a Hiking Club at First Baptist Church where monthly hikes were planned. Dad has hiked Mount LeConte many times in his life. In fact, he hiked the trail only a few days prior to being told he needed emergency triple bypass surgery! The cardiologist simply stated that he had a special angel looking out for him. There is really no medical explanation to why he made it off the mountain with the severe blockages in his heart. Still to this day, a few of his close friends will take him on short hikes. While several of the men have been plagued by health issues, they don't let the love of the outdoors keep them hidden in their homes. There is something about the vast outdoors that paradoxically brings people closer with a bond that is hard to describe.
For those of you who know my father, you are well aware that relationships are very important to him. He spent most of his waking hours ministering to others, laughing with people, crying with hurt ones, and doing acts of kindness to those in need. He also made his family a priority. He loved engaging us in conversation, giving us advice, and supporting us in our endeavors. There has never been a time that I questioned his love for us. Both my mother and he are examples of the unconditional love parents have for their children.
Although the Baptist Rabbi spent a great deal of time developing and maintaining special relationships in his life, he realized the importance of balance. He spent time developing and maintaining a relationship with himself as well. While we are a major component of his life, we have never been the center of his world. Dad has always made sure to maintain his own individuality throughout the twists and turns of life's curves.
There were times that you would find my father walking down Riverbend and Riverside alone. There were times that you would find him in his bedroom or living room meditating in silence. When we would take trips to the beach, you would find him on the balcony reading books. At times, you would see Mom and Dad take trips without Chris and me. When Scott and I began to have children, Mom and Dad would come to the house on a regular basis and tell us to go out on a date without the kids. He always encouraged us to spend planned time devoted to just our relationship outside of our children. For he knew it is very easy to keep the commitment to a relationship at the expense of another. And this includes the relationship to yourself.
There is a time for everything. There is a time to be social in groups. There is a time to be social with individuals. There is a time to focus on work. There is a time to focus on our children. There is a time to focus on our spouse. There is a time to focus on our aging parents. There is a time to focus on personal hobbies and activities that we personally enjoy. There is a time for us to focus on spending time alone with ourselves. The Baptist Rabbi and his wife were excellent examples of the importance of being well rounded. I am thankful that Dad enjoys hiking so much and modeled for me the importance of taking care of the individual as well as others. For we never know what life has in store for us. At some point, one of these aspects is going to be stripped from us in some capacity. When we store all of our efforts in only one area, life can easily fall apart.
Wise financial advisors will tell a client to diversify their funds. It is the safest and wisest thing to do with finances. My Dad would say the same thing about life. Diversify. Take time to develop and maintain relationships with your spouse, children, parents, in-laws, co-workers, neighbors, friends, church family, etc. Take time to find a career that brings happiness and do it to the best of your ability. However, take time to develop yourself. Find something that brings you personal joy. Spend time alone and spend time doing hobbies and activities that bring you personal satisfaction. Fill your personal bucket. By doing this, you will be better equipped to fill other people. Tipping the balance in either direction can take one to dangerous waters. Finding the correct balance will ensure when life falls apart in one area, we can lean on the support of other areas in our life to sustain. After all, when all is said and done, we end up with one constant.......ourselves. It is important to develop the self so when that is all we have left, we find happiness within our own skin.
