It’s one of those nights. It is one of the nights that I'm most like my father. Recent events are swirling in my mind as I try to make sense of the world around me. So, at 2:34 a.m., I lay awake trying to wrap my mind around it all. Last night, I watched a Christian mother bury her brave child. I watched teachers, police officers, friends, family, and a community mourn trying to makes sense of something that is incomprehensible. I came home and held my children a little tighter, while another mother entered a house without her child.
This week, our country endured yet another act of terrorism. Five innocent military men died at the hand of an anger filled man. Five families are left to pick up the pieces and try to wrap their heads around why this event occurred to their loved ones.
Just a few weeks ago, I watched my mother suffer in a hospital bed, begging Jesus to come and take her to heaven. As her weak body lay in the hospital bed recovering from the second surgery in a month, my father stayed beside her in the room and wept, watching the love of his life continue to endure pain and unexplained health issues. While trying to wrap his hands around the events of her news, he continues to fight his own demons of Parkinsons and PHN from one of the worst documented cases of shingles. Yet they both are examples of what it is like to live a life serving the Lord. They have lived one of the purest lives with an unwavering faith in God, but they both wake up each day to fight their own individual health issues.
We all have our own situations. We all have our own experiences that leave us pondering “Why us?” or “Why them?” In our simple human minds, we want to believe in Karma. If we do good, good things will happen to us. We find satisfaction when bad things happen to bad people. Many of us have been known to flippantly make the statement, “Karma will come back to bite them.” But guess what? The Baptist Rabbi would beg to differ. We can be guaranteed of one thing. Bad things WILL happen to good people.
Why do bad things happen to good people? This is a common question asked to pastors. Dad raised Chris and me to firmly understand that life is not fair. Dad took the time to teach us about God’s free will. When bad things happen to good people, we often ask ourselves “Why did God do this to us?” Oftentimes, you will hear people respond something similar to, “It is all God’s plan.” Everyone has their own beliefs on this, and all readers are certainly entitled to disagree. I am certainly no theologian or biblical scholar. However, I simply can’t wrap my head around my God willing terrible things to happen to us: childhood cancer, battered women, loss of loved ones through tragic events, terrorism, chronic pain, poverty, etc. However, because of free will, the things of this world are allowed to happen to us. Some because of personal decisions we have made, and other times, because of decisions other people or society has made without our input. And oftentimes, for no explainable reason at all.
My Dad taught me that God doesn’t necessarily cause these things to happen, but He allows them to happen in a world of free will. However, He is certainly present in all situations, helping guide our reactions and supporting our temporary unbelief. This world is not, has never been, and will never be an equal playing field. However, we can be assured of one thing. There is equality in unfairness. Unfair events affect us all. Life is not fair. We will all experience times where life is not fair and we have questions. And there are many questions that simply don’t have an explainable answer. But God has not abandoned us. He loves us and is walking beside us in this world of free will.
Free will is not always bad. God has given us great control over the choices that we make and the direction that we take our lives. But my personal prayer in the middle of this night is simple and heartfelt. When our human minds can’t wrap around the events of unexplained pain and suffering, dear God, please hold us close. Let us feel Your peace and know that there is a day where free will will turn into a place where all is equal, fair, and we hear the words, “Job well done.”
